RayLCC
03-08-2011, 11:37 AM
I Don’t have one of those new iPhone confession apps… Mostly because I don’t have an iphone, So I figured I would just confess here. Ok, here it goes:
It has been forever since my last confession. My sins are mostly minor. I’ve always been amazed at how being short, fat and ugly can really go a long way in keeping you from sinning as much as you would like to. Ahem! Sorry Father, I meant to say as much as… Well, you know what I mean. Ok, here goes:
There’s the drifter and the cheerleader in the backyard and as far as temptations of the flesh, I’ve basically patterned my life after Charlie Sheen.
I drink, but only to excess and on the internet I usually pose as a 13 year old girl.
But as I said. All that is minor. The reason I felt compelled to confess… The guilt that is tearing away at my soul. The reason I had to seek forgiveness from a divine authority is because in a moment of weakness… I bought one of these:
http://images01.olx.com/ui/1/30/29/15192129_1.jpg
(not this one. I don't have pics of the one I bought yet.)
I know, I know! How could I? But I needed a small truck for gas mileage and this was affordable. And after a test drive, I… Oh Gawd help me, I liked it! It was like after a night of heavy drinking when the bars have closed and your staggering around the parking lot and all the women have turned down your advances and all that your left with is the confused young man and in your drunken hazy mind you think… What the hell, “shes” in a dress.
Um… Yeah, probably shoulda confessed that one too, huh. Don’t judge me, Padre, need I bring up the altar boys? Didn’t think so. Oh well, lets stay on task here.
Anyway, the truck is a 1990 Toy… Toy… I said don’t judge me!
It’s a Toyota pickup! There, I said it! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go take a shower now… I feel dirty. :)
It has been forever since my last confession. My sins are mostly minor. I’ve always been amazed at how being short, fat and ugly can really go a long way in keeping you from sinning as much as you would like to. Ahem! Sorry Father, I meant to say as much as… Well, you know what I mean. Ok, here goes:
There’s the drifter and the cheerleader in the backyard and as far as temptations of the flesh, I’ve basically patterned my life after Charlie Sheen.
I drink, but only to excess and on the internet I usually pose as a 13 year old girl.
But as I said. All that is minor. The reason I felt compelled to confess… The guilt that is tearing away at my soul. The reason I had to seek forgiveness from a divine authority is because in a moment of weakness… I bought one of these:
http://images01.olx.com/ui/1/30/29/15192129_1.jpg
(not this one. I don't have pics of the one I bought yet.)
I know, I know! How could I? But I needed a small truck for gas mileage and this was affordable. And after a test drive, I… Oh Gawd help me, I liked it! It was like after a night of heavy drinking when the bars have closed and your staggering around the parking lot and all the women have turned down your advances and all that your left with is the confused young man and in your drunken hazy mind you think… What the hell, “shes” in a dress.
Um… Yeah, probably shoulda confessed that one too, huh. Don’t judge me, Padre, need I bring up the altar boys? Didn’t think so. Oh well, lets stay on task here.
Anyway, the truck is a 1990 Toy… Toy… I said don’t judge me!
It’s a Toyota pickup! There, I said it! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go take a shower now… I feel dirty. :)