A funny joke for Monday!

[Burg460]

You guys will love this....especially Ray. :lol:

Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return. A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some husbands...

First floor
The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went.

Second floor
The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's further up?"

Third floor
This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." "Wow," said the women, "Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up theywent.

Fourth floor
This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak." "Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on!" So up to the fifth floor they went.

Fifth floor
The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are f**king impossible to please. The exit is to your left, we hope you fall down the stairs."


:laughing2:

[clavos]

Thats good. I likes!!!

[dannan_w]

Thats good. I likes!!!

[JuBean]

I'll say!
I went out to the store a couple of days ago to get tampons for the girl. Now being a man I have no clue where they hide these things but I swear I walked up and down every isle looking for them. Lucky for me one of the cashiers noticed my aimless wandering and asked what I was looking for. When I told her "tampons" she looked kind of embarassed and told me isle 5 on the right. Go figure it was the only isle I did not walk down but anyways I get there and then it hit me. 4 minutes later I walked up to the checkout counter with a bag of cotton balls and a spool of thread. It was the same cashier that directed me to isle 5 and she looked really confused by my selection of items. Now being the nice guy I am I cannot leave a woman utterly confused so I told her that the day before I asked her to go out and buy me a pack of smokes but she returned with a can of tobacco and wad of papers because, "it is SOOOOO much cheaper to roll your own!" I told the cashier that if I had to she had to.
No, we are still not speaking :lol:

[Walking Eagle]

That's some funny stuff.

[MMPC]

LOL- funny jokes! Okay - this has to bring up the question of the day then - just how many of you have been asked by your girlfriend/wife to go to the store for tampons/etc.? That just sounds like a bad case of lack of planning to me... :P

( Now I've probably just jinxed myself :roll: )

[mattadams]

I've never been asked thank goodness, but an old co-worker had a very funny story about it. He said he was so nervous about getting the wrong thing, he took the exact name and type and style or whatever with him, and made a point to ask two seperate female cashiers if what he had picked out matched the description he was given by his girlfriend. More guts then me!

[clavos]

I have before, but I was told to not bother coming home from the bar without them. Gives new meaning to "one for the road".

[RayLCC]

Believe it or not I've bought them. Both with the rest of the shopping list and individualy.
I have never seen a reason to be embarrassed when buying them, I figure its pretty obvious they aren't for me.
However, that guy had it right. Women with their tampons are like guys with beer. Some are happy with whatever is there, but most are pretty particular about their brand, so its best to get specifics before leaving the house.
And what ever you do, don't let them give you a description like "I don't know the exact brand, but its the ones in the purple box with a woman on the front."
Trust me. THERE ARE 350 DIFFERENT GOD DAMNED BOXES AND THEY ARE ALL PURPLE AND ALL HAVE A WOMAN ON THE FRONT!!!!!! I won't even get into the different styles, types and shapes. I'm pretty sure they all click together somehow to make some kind of weird feminist action figure. Like powerrangers toys that act as a giant stringed decoder ring that teaches them how to make our lives miserable. First lesson: Sending him to the store for tampons! :-)
Ladies... Sending men to the store with information like that is like asking him to pick up diapers and saying: "just get the one with the baby on the package." Were gonna come home with a package of depends and say we thought it was a pretty wrinkled and ugly kid, but it said super-absorbant, so we figured we could use duct tape and make it work.
Same with feminine products. Give us specifics or were gonna come home with cheese-cloth bags and kitty litter.
And you'll have only yourself to blame. :-)

[MMPC]

Well, you could always turn the tables. If your significant other asks (hey, it could happen) if you want her to bring home some beer, just tell her "yeah, I like the one advertised by the chick with huge boobs and a look of pleasant confusion on her face." See how frustrated she gets!

[Burg460]

Ladies... Sending men to the store with information like that is like asking him to pick up diapers and saying: "just get the one with the baby on the package." Were gonna come home with a package of depends and say we thought it was a pretty wrinkled and ugly kid, but it said super-absorbant, so we figured we could use duct tape and make it work.
Same with feminine products. Give us specifics or were gonna come home with cheese-cloth bags and kitty litter.
And you'll have only yourself to blame. :-)

That is the funniest thing I read all day. I am still laughing about it. :laughing3:

+1 for Ray :thumbup:

[mattadams]

Ray, you crack me up.

[Tray]

Believe it or not I've bought them. Both with the rest of the shopping list and individualy.
I have never seen a reason to be embarrassed when buying them, I figure its pretty obvious they aren't for me.


So true. I am frequently the buyer of said hygeine products, and I've never cared.

I do see so many guys who turn red and try to wait until I've left before selecting the purple box on their list.

I tend to make light of the situation whenever possible. I like to hold up two packages, and ask other guys for their preference. Or when I talk to myself and comment that I can't ever decide if I need Super Plus, or just Plus. Really gets people moving fast.

[colohoopty]

PERFECTION!!!!!!